


Hey, Vacant Eyes

by I_am_a_Ruin



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Almost Suicide Attempt, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Depression, M/M, Self-Harm, author is struggling, friends worry, talking people down from the ledge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-19 13:56:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13705851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_a_Ruin/pseuds/I_am_a_Ruin
Summary: Will is worried about his boyfriend and finds himself in a very difficult position.





	1. Panic Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> this is one of my first pjo fanfics but I just love these characters so much and I needed people to work with that wasn't Hetalia (lol) so here's this. There will be more at some point because I'm not ending here.

“Seriously, has anyone seen Nico?” Will demanded. Something was wrong and he could feel it. 

Jason looked up from his food. “No, why?”

“He’s just… he’s seemed off today. I’m worried.”

That got Percy’s attention too. Will was carefree. Percy had seen him looking at someone bleeding to death and calmly bring them back without breaking a sweat. If he was worried…

“Where’d you see him last?” Percy asked, standing up.

“The infirmary. He was helping me out but he was distracted and he’s not there anymore.” Will sounded on the brink of a meltdown. 

“We’ll help you.” Jason said firmly. 

The three of them split up and searched the camp. Jason checked the amphitheater and the cabins. Percy checked the training arena and the climbing wall and the woods. Will checked the infirmary again and the Big House. He searched every room and floor and was on his way out to the strawberry fields to find that stupid Ghost King when he saw a figure on the roof. Oh gods. His breath was stolen. 

Will ran so quickly, faster than he ever had in his life. He tripped over the stairs, scrambling up through trap into the attic and the window that led up to the roof. Nico was still there, thank the gods. Will moved slowly, not wanting to run the risk of spooking the boy. Nico didn’t even look at him. The boy was just… sitting and staring out at the camp. Will watched him carefully as he caught his breath, ready to lunge and catch him should he… do something stupid. 

Nico was breathing slowly, and he looked so relaxed Will could imagine he was daydreaming if not… If not for the neat scarlet lines curled into his arms, crimson painting its way down his pasty, olive-white wrists. The tiles were being stained in Death’s blood where no one would see. 

“Nico…” Will breathed into the warm, evening air. 

The boy did not respond so Will drew closer, slowly reaching for Nico’s shoulder.

“Please don’t touch me.” Nico sighed. His voice lacked any sort of strength. He sounded defeated and empty and it broke Will’s heart.

It took everything in him to respect Nico’s wish. “Nico… why don’t you get up and we go downstairs, huh?”

“I can’t.” 

Will waited for an explanation before prompting him with, “Why?”

Nico finally looked up at him and there was nothing in his eyes. Usually when Nico looked at him, something lit up as though instead of organs he contained a bright sun that was activated by the sight of his favorite people. And it hurt how completely empty Nico looked. He hadn’t looked that poor since he got back from the War and was so physically drained from the sheer amount of shadow travelling. “Because my body has to be on the ground, Will.”

“What about Hazel, Nico?” Will needed something, anything to change the blankness on Nico’s face.

“She’s better off this way. She has six other people and I’m just bringing her down.” Nico shrugged, looking back out towards the lake.

“And what about Percy and Jason, Nico? They are out right now, scared to death because they can’t find you and don’t know if you’re okay. What about me, your boyfriend? I want to  _ help,  _ Nico. I don’t want to be without you and I want… please don’t do this Nico. Can we just go down and talk?”

“I’m so tired, Will.” Nico sighed, shaking his head.

“I know, I know, baby. But please, just for me. And we can rest and you don’t have to talk to anyone for as long as you want.” Will was begging now, voice on the verge of the breaking and tears were filling his eyes.

“I can’t. I can’t. I’m too tired. I don’t want to wake up anymore or walk or talk or see anyone suffering because of me. I don’t want to see anyone die again or wait until something happens to you and I get hurt all over again. I’ve lived so long and I just want to see my mom again.” Nico whispered. He wasn’t crying, but Will was and he couldn’t stop even though he didn’t want Nico to add that to another reason he should die.

“Nico… please, I need you. Your friends need you. And it's not your time. Just let us help, let us in, please.” Will knelt down now, taking Nico’s hand. 

Nico didn’t respond and when Will moved to pick him up, he didn’t fight either. Will carried him bridal style downstairs (a bit awkwardly) and to the infirmary. Nico fell asleep in his arms. 


	2. Good Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will tells the others.

Will tended to the multitude of slices on Nico’s wrists, trying to not count them or cry over the deeper ones that still had not begun to clot. He tried to go into his medic mindset where he couldn’t see faces, just the next task to make this person better. But he could see Nico’s face and he didn’t remotely know where to start helping Nico. Once he wrapped up the boy’s wrists, he had one of his siblings sent out to find Jason and Percy and let them know he was safe for now and to wait to hear from Will.

Exhaustion was creeping through his bones so he finally let himself take Nico to the boy’s cabin. He set Nico on his bed and curled up next to him, holding the boy as close as possible. Nico’s breath was even and soothing and he buried his face in his dark hair. 

Nico smelled like vanilla, cinnamon, and a strong earthy scent that Will couldn’t place. Knowing that he nearly lost that specific smell, the warm solidity in his arms, that wry smile, and closest friend forever knocked the air out of his lungs and left him gasping for it. It was as if subconsciously Nico could sense Will’s distress and snuggled closer to calm him. 

Even though he was exhausted, he couldn’t begin to imagine himself falling asleep. Not when he could wake up and find Nico dead if he closed his eyes for too long.

Nico di Angelo meant so much to him it hurt. He didn’t understand how Nico could genuinely believe everyone was better off without him, that no one cared enough for him to stay. It broke Will’s heart into a million pieces just thinking about it. Nico deserved the most happiness in the world, especially considering everything he had gone through.

Will wasn’t dumb enough to think he could fix this on his own. Which was exactly why he was going to Nico’s friends as soon as possible. Nico was going to need everyone’s support and then some if anything was going to get better. 

***

“Will you just tell us already?” Jason insisted, on the edge of his seat.

Will sighed. They were still waiting on Leo and Annabeth. “Not yet. You’re all going to want to be here for this. Please be patient.”

“Is he okay?” Percy pleaded for just a little information.

Percy had known Nico the longest and Will couldn’t bring himself to keep anything from him about the Ghost King, even knowing that Nico used to have feelings for him. 

“Not really, but that’s why I want to talk to you.” Will murmured, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Hey, sorry I’m late! Malcolm was helping me with some plans and… what’s going on, Will?” Annabeth sprinted into the meeting room, face red and hair in its usual messy ponytail. She sat down at the same time Leo came in, bringing a strong, acrid aroma with him.

“Okay, I have some really bad news and I need you all to take this seriously. I’m really worried about Nico and I can’t do this by myself.”

“What’s happened?”

“Is he okay?”

“Tell us what happened.”

Everyone started speaking at once and Will wondered how they expected him to tell them anything like that. But then Hazel shot a glare at them, quieting them.

“Go on,” Hazel encouraged.

“Yesterday… I found him on the Big House roof. I’ve been suspecting that he’s been feeling depressed lately but I didn’t realize it had gotten so bad. He was planning on jumping and he had slit his wrists a bunch of times and-” Will choked on his tears, even though he had promised he would stay calm for them. 

The Seven gaped at him, finding themselves at a loss for words. Will couldn’t blame them. He took a deep breath, gathering himself. “I’ve patched him up, and I think he’s calmed down, but I don’t think he should be left alone. I have him on watch in the infirmary even though he’s still asleep. I also think we need to talk to Chiron. We can’t ignore this.”

Piper was the first to react. She stood and hugged Will tightly. “Of course we’ll help.”

“He… I don’t understand. Why was he on the roof?” Percy shook his head, face pale and looking between all of his friends for an explanation.

Annabeth took her boyfriend’s hands. “I think he was trying to… to k-kill himself.” 

“But why? I don’t… He’s so… He has us… why does he want to die? I thought… I thought he was doing better.” Percy stammered through broken sentence fragments, trying to wrap his head around it.

“Can I go see him?” Jason asked, voice surprisingly steady for how hard he was trembling.

Will nodded. “He’s still sleeping, like I said. And I don’t think we should overwhelm him. No more than two at a time. He expressed feeling like a burden and I don’t want him to think…. I don’t know. I’m doing my best.”

Piper took Jason’s hand, not leaving Will’s side. “I think you and Hazel should go first.”

“No, I want to see him!” Percy demanded, shaking his head. 

“Seaweed brain, you need to calm down before you see anyone. And Hazel is his sister.” Annabeth reminded Percy gently. 

“Are you sure he didn’t do anything else? He’s okay at the moment?” Hazel inquired, searching Will’s eyes. He could practically see her imagining all kinds of things Nico might have tried to do. She was the daughter of the god of the Underworld and so was Nico. They would have no shortage of ideas on how one might die.

“He’s not okay, but physically he is safe.” Will reassured. 

Hazel nodded and she and Jason left for the infirmary, led by Will. 

**Author's Note:**

> I would really appreciate some feedback!


End file.
